So it's been a while. I've been a bit busy these past couple of months, but I felt it a bit of typing here was due.

The reason I'm writing today is because there has been a lot going on lately, from flings to fuck ups, it's been a hell of a ride. Can't say it's been real bad though, it's mostly been good, even though the bad has been gut-wrenching. Anyway, I sat down the other day in the middle of nowhere just thinking, about what has happenned lately, and I came to a bit of a strange conclusion: It's been awesome, I've had a blast, and for the past couple of months the fun has been blown out of proportions for me... but I still feel that there's something missing. So I started to realize that I've left a lot of good things behind, things I didn't intend on giving up, but I guessed life's a bitch, it's a trade thing. Could it have been music? Programming? Cooking? Movies? Nah. I tried to scout my brain to pinpoint it, but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.

A couple of days went by since that meditation. After giving it some time to simmer, it finally hit me. After all the shit I went through, my life is now on the sunny side, so to speak. At long last, I've been enjoying myself like a loon, so now I know why I feel that emptiness: I have no one to share this with. Family you say? Friends? Of course they are there, but it's just not the same. I had someone to share all the bad times with, I always had someone there to keep me on my feet (and to all of you thank you and I'm sorry), so now I long for someone to be here now that I've conquered the mountain. I wanna be able to have someone to share the glory with, because it's like a cool looking $100 dish that tastes like air. You just walk up and leave the meal there.

So it really hasn't been bad, I think I've just learned to handle it a whole lot better. I really enjoy small things now, like not using a tracker, watching RAW on my day off, taking a walk alone at night, that sort of thing. I believe that things and situations don't always get better, just like relationships, but they are always different, and (most times) different is good. So here's a toast to difference, and to friends and family, who even though we diss a lot we couldn't live without (Dad, I fucking love you man).

Take care and misbehave.



PS: Anyone have a hot single female straight friend? Nothing serious